Mother Trucker - 4/5/19

When I was in high school, I had the pleasure of being in Mr. McKenna’s philosophy and AP U.S. History classes. I didn’t learn much of either topic, but Mr. McKenna taught so much more about life during his courses. HOA fees, compound interest, prenuptial agreements, even sex. Being in a private Catholic high school, these topics were taboo, if non-existent. But I digress. Any class he taught (I think there were a few others) was considered preparation for the real world. Before each class started, a fellow classmate would be called on to read excerpts from inspirational books. My favorite was “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff...and It’s All Small Stuff: Simple Ways to Keep the Little Things from Taking Over Your Life” by Richard Carlson. I don’t remember any particular chapters specifically, but the title alone always stuck with me.

And it’s all small stuff...

People close to me are often surprised at my reactions towards unfortunate events. A car accident, a lost phone in another country, a motorcycle stolen before I had it insured, hard drives crashing before finals, my only work laptop destroyed by static electric shock. The death of a loved one. Don’t get me wrong. I’ve sobbed, screamed, whined, and threw fits like everyone else (mostly hidden), but it only lasts a few minutes before I start feeling sorry for myself and get to actually solving these problems if I can, even if it’s just accepting to myself that it happened.

Other than immediate threats to my shelter, body and health, and of those I care deeply about, almost nothing is worth going into the red anymore, at least for me. Unfortunately, to some, this has made me seem emotionally numb, nonreactive, and thus… uncaring. On the contrary, this Stoic outlook has spared me from escalation, which I view as the greater danger.

When one allows others and events to control them, that’s where the real loss is.

When Instagram hashtags spread through the internet, #firstworldproblems (or #fwp) pointed to our own ridiculousness of what we consider “problems.” Not receiving the right gifts. Too much foam in my latte. The internet isn’t working. But even our bad problems are first world problems. In order to lose things, we have to have things in the first place. Many do not.

My Uncle Danny used to always tell us, “In order to appreciate what you have, you need to know what it’s like to NOT have.” It’s a lesson that fewer and fewer are willing to learn and a lesson fewer and fewer are willing to teach. I’m not saying we should all limit the victories, successes, and achievements of ourselves or others, but that we should not discount the value of failure, rejections, and loss.

Take a look at everything you have and think about what you would do if you have lost it all. How would you react? Some of those things could happen. Just ask those who were victims of natural disasters and freak accidents. There is only so much you can do. But things can swing the other way just as quickly. Winning the lottery, a parking spot in front, no wait at In-N-Out (arguably the best one). No matter the circumstance, take what life gives you and let it make you wealthier in mind and spirit, but don’t let it take you down.

This is a choice.

Look at the Ls in your life, the punches you’ve taken to the face, the mud that has been splashed onto you, and then look at where you are now. Still here, I’d imagine if you’re reading this. Compared to that, all those sad events are just insects hitting the windshield. Some insects are bigger than others, but in comparison to the fucking big rig that is you, it’s still small stuff.

Fuck yeah, it’s Friday!

Photo by VanveenJF on Unsplash