Alter Ego - 5/10/19

One of my very first jobs out of school was an on-site freelance job at an advertising agency. My art lead was a cool Argentine, never seen without a clean white shirt, Dodgers cap, and blue jeans. His demeanor could be described as a very professional Latino gang leader. While always respectful to me, the hired gun, I’ve seen him counter any attempts to make him feel any less than a dominant male with a very silent and controlled physical response, even in public. These attempts usually didn’t happen again.

I knew he was a badass, but something happened one day that peaked my interest. His girlfriend walked into the room one afternoon and I immediately saw his demeanor change. Like a light switch, his voice dropped to a whisper as he greeted her in Spanish. His seated body fell into hers, dropping his head into her chest as he closed his eyes. He held her by the waist as she stood tall and allowed him to enter her space, wrapping her arms around his head and caressing him like a child.

What the heck just happened? Who was this woman who was able to melt someone who I interpreted as an alpha boss? It was a shining moment as I realized that we are all a version of ourselves amongst different people, in different scenarios, and perhaps even with different clothes on.

Her presence had changed the environment for him and he instantly fell into his boyfriend mode, which I saw as a very graceful, quiet, and loving man.

As I began to experience more of the adult world, I felt myself wanting to get to know my different internal delegates. Who am I at the bar? At work? At a party? Dancing? Dating? In a relationship? The list went on for every new scenario outside my sheltered upbringing.

I was genuinely curious.

While I was getting to know my alter egos, I also realized that I had a chance to design them to my specs. Just like playing with Legos or designing video game characters, each version of myself was an opportunity to mold, play, and craft. Like studying for a round of Jeopardy, I found myself being interested everything. I expanded my hobbies and educated myself so that I could speak to anyone about their topics of interest. As I began to settle into myself in my 30s, these different versions began to meld back into a few. Sure I have my party delegate, my work delegate, and my family delegate, but it took experimentation to solidify who I really wanted to become.

To know what I wanted to be, I also had to know what I did NOT want to be.

There is another alter ego that I am now focused on. This is my future alter ego. This is the person that I want to become. Accomplished people are often asked, “what would you say to a past version of yourself?” I always saw that question pointless. Sure it can inspire those behind us, but I ask, what would your successful future self say to you today? What would future you tell yourself? In a quantum world, you know both the question and the answer. The difference is that in this dimension, you still have time to act, change behaviors, and influence outcomes to become that successful future you.

Like a curated wardrobe, we can develop all aspects and different altered egos of ourselves. They are not fake in the sense of being inauthentic, but they are fabricated from true pieces of ourselves and grown, later to be fused together over time. The more detailed vision we can create for ourselves, the higher the chance it will come true. Once you have that vision, the next step is to create our plan.

Through routine and discipline, these desired traits are forged so that we can withstand things that try to challenge our goals. Strengthen those things that you wish to keep, warm and soften those things you want to modify and edit.

Our days are riddled with micro-choices, micro-actions, and micro-opportunities that lead to these outcomes. Without goals, these options will continue to be overlooked day after day after day. The food we consume, the physical exercise we do, the thoughts we have, the emotions we go through. It’s all a choice, but at least with a goal, we know which choice will get us closer.

What would successful future you do?