Beating Bowser - 3/1/19

What does your emotional and mental health have to do with Bowser, the boss from Super Mario Bros.?

They all have patterns. And just like how you can issue the final blow from observing the timing of attacks, you can defeat all kinds of negativity in your life, if you can pay attention. Once a pattern is recognized, it allows us to plan and adapt. Sometimes it will make you look like a fucking genius, or even rich, if you happen to be at a poker table. 

But the specific patterns I am referring to are the ones inside us. The way we get offended or have our feelings unintentionally hurt. The way we give love and the way we take it. They way we become turned on and turned off. The way we deal with success and failure. These things are on repeat and we may not even realize it. 

We should obviously keep the ones that work, but how do we change a pattern that has stopped serving us? In an earlier post, I mentioned the value of micro-actions in the context of transition. I will take this moment to applaud anyone for just asking the question. Whether it’s a negative thought, behavior, or emotion, our past can weigh down our future if the trigger isn’t eventually discovered and diffused. We are constantly being robbed of the greatness we can become by not addressing the negative patterns that keep us caged in. But we must first be aware of their existence. 

I used to get triggered every time my parents told me that I should do something (like remove computer viruses, change oil, and other chores). “Whatever.” The disrespect was more understandable when I was 15, but not that cool at 25. I had just graduated college, had a job, a car, an apartment, and almost a girlfriend. Simon the man was blooming before my eyes, but my mind and emotions needed to catch up. As I contemplated why I was so pissed at my parents for simply telling me to help around the house, I realized this trigger was a remnant from my teenage years. 

But I was no longer a teenager. 

I wanted to be a mature adult. Fearless. Secure. I wanted to fill a room with my positive energy and set the pace. I wanted to wear tailored suits and drive an Aston Martin. I wanted to be as cool as a cucumber popsicle on a winter’s eve. I wanted to be a good son. Future Simon was no longer a whiny bitch that argued with his hard-working immigrant parents.

It no longer fit with my future goals. 

I didn’t only stop it. I reversed it. I offered help more around the house during Christmas visits. As I realized I was getting older, I also realized my parents were getting older. Having seen where 10 years had gone from 15-25, I looked forward another 10 to 35. Like an Asian Ebenezer Scrooge, this mental version of “A Christmas Carol” opened my eyes and put me back in the reins. 

It was powerful. I was still fighting for control over my emotions and actions, when I failed to realize that I already had it. 

You also have this power. 

When you feel fucking sad, instead of over eating/drinking/shopping, go get some exercise or make someone else happy (then drink with them). When you feel fucking abandoned, instead of hiding, reach out to a stranger or friend. When you feel fucking poor, instead of robbing others, give something to someone. When you feel fucking angry, instead of attacking, show someone how much you love them (and then why you feel that way). 

Whatever it is you decide to do, you always have a choice. Nobody MAKES you do anything. If you do feel that “something else” is calling the shots, it may be just another pattern. 

Another “Bowser” to take care of. 

Some patterns are simple. Some are more complicated. But they all deserve to be addressed. If there are triggers from your past that don’t line up with who you want to be, make them known. Write them down. Ask the question. Why do I ______ every time ______ happens? Why do I do that? When was the first time I did that?

Everything has a pattern, but it’s your choice which patterns you welcome into your life. I don’t know about you, but I want patterns that keep me motivated, happy, and turned on.

What are some triggers that you’ve uncovered that you thought were unrelated, but turns out that it WAS related?

Fuck yeah, it’s Friday!

Bowser by glelsey via FanPop